#20 (for realz)

#20

Alright, sorry for the hiatus folks. Here we present the stunning conclusion to our superpower saga. Cory can breathe fire, and hipster Jared has eye beams (eyerony beams). As I said previously, starting next week we'll be getting back to one shot strips, a freak of the week style, if you will.

I like the idea behind this strip. One of the problems I have with a lot of superhero comics is that the comic becomes defined by the abilities of the superhero. This is wrong. The story almost always turns out to be more engaging when the power set piles onto a well imagined character. The powers shouldn't become the defining characteristic of a hero. His or her neuroses, fears, and concerns should be. It's the same person, except now they can do new things. When done right, this can be an incredibly engaging story. Robert Kirkman's Invincible, certain incarnations of Spider-man, and many others get this balance right. It's something we tried to channel with this strip.

#19

Tsk tsk. She should have pressed B to cancel.

So, here's the deal. You guys are loyal readers, and you deserve fidelity in these fireside chats. Jared and I are still trying to find our stride. We tried the one shot comics, and we're in the middle of this experiment with sequential narrative over several strips. We're nearing the end of this run, and we think we are going to switch back. For one, it's a pain to try to write an ongoing story in four panels a week. Secondly, we think the one shots tend to be funnier, and we definitely have more fun making them. Jared is eager to"get back to drawing idiots with funny faces." So thanks for sticking with us through this.

Excelsior!

#18

If you don't know who Rob Liefield is, you might consider yourself lucky. Comic aficionados know him well. Basically, the 90's were a dark time for comic books. It was all "edge" and women with twelve inch waists. And pouches. Oh god the pouches. Many of the worst and most laughable offenses against the genre occurred during this decade. The silver age was often amusing for it's camp, but it has a certain vintage charm to it that makes it palatable. Nineties era comics were, in a word, bad. Rob Liefield was perhaps the worst offender of them all, and, most maddeningly, one of the most successful author/illustrators in comic history. He destroyed once beloved franchises by writing ridiculous stories and pumping out some of the most ridiculously bad art in the genre's history. And he made millions for it.

Still though, as half of the creative duo of a poorly drawn, poorly written comic strip, there is something comforting in knowing that there is historical precedent for success in this industry that is not necessarily contingent on talent or quality. So I've got that going for me.

Also, Jared forbade me from making any homoerotic comments regarding his depiction of me in the last panel. Frankly it hadn't crossed my mind until he brought it up. That he assumed I would is the real joke, so far as I am concerned.

#17

Oh dear? Who could be knocking on the high rise window? How would anyone even get up there? Eh, screw it. It's not a subtle transition. You know who it is. (Hint: It's Cthulhu)

Also, due to busy schedules, we're switching to a once a week update schedule, as you may or may not have noticed. It's unfortunate. You're all crushed, we know. Frankly between work and studies, a twice weekly transcontinental comic is a bit beyond our means. For now. We're still writing, we are still updating, and we appreciate the continued readership. For all of you that have given us props and encouragement, we offer our thanks. While we enjoy creating these, we always try to do it with an audience in mind, and a recurring, receptive audience is the best we can ask for. See you next week, with the next installment of Roommates! a Bromantic Fantasy.

#16

The inevitable escalation.

Of note is the fact that Jared claims sole authorship of this strip. I'm not saying it's true, but he claims it nonetheless. He was somewhat inebriated when we worked this out and made said assertion.

Also, I'm pleased to present a bonus color edition of a previous strip, brought to you by Jared's friend Jonah. Thanks, Jonah.

#15

Stay tuned to see what happens when the Nerd rage is unleashed.

There is something about the nerd rage that "normal" people can't begin to comprehend. Nerd rage isn't about being a nerd, not entirely. It's about standards and accuracy, too. Knowing the specifics of a fictional characters powers (or in this case, lack thereof) is very much like knowing the difference between good and well. Or lay and lie. Or effect and affect. This is one reason so many nerds are often grammar Nazis. For some nerds this is merely a way to feel smugly superior to an audience who views them as merely uppity. For others, it's valuable practice. After all, it pays for doctors and engineers to be both thorough and precise, and insist that those around them are too.

Of course, there is always an element of mind-blindness to the nerd rage to consider. Nerd's often have a hard time comprehending that others don't share their passion. It's a bit like devoting your life to dogs, and having someone tell you in a conversation about dogs that they think parakeets are overrated, but that they once had a very nice slipper, without ever realizing that they were no longer talking about dogs. It's doubly enraging when an explanation to the offending party explaining their mistake is dismissed as too technical or not especially important. This may or may not be true, but from inside the nerdzone, it looks an awful lot like willful ignorance regardless. And no one like willful ignorance.*

*Some groups tolerate willful ignorance. But I'm choosing to act as though they don't exist.

#14

This, friends, is the natural progression of a combination of stupidity, cowardice, and fair skin. Looks like Jared needs to man up. Also, we've got a big plans for the next strip: Introduction of a third character. We promise not to make her as awesome as we are, because that might be too much awesome. She'll be a little awesome though.

Now moving on to gingers, I think it's important to note that, despite our weaknesses, it should be widely known that we are of superior genetic stock. If you know gingers, be sure to suck up to them, because in the coming regime we will be worshiped as god's and lord over the lesser races.

~Cory

#13

Sorry for the slow update schedule. Doing this thing was much easier when we had more free time and were in the same state. We're going to keep plugging away at it as much as we can though. Also, we're trying something a little more ambitious with this and the coming strips. This is part one in a several part story arc. Will Cory and Jared become super heroes, or will they merely grieviously injure themselves trying. Who knows? I sure don't. Or maybe I do. But I'm not telling. So stay tuned.

Anyhow, I view today's comic as a parable about good science. Just because something seems likely to be untrue doesn't mean you can rule out the possibility until you've put it to a thorough empirical test. That's why on the third Tuesday of every month I perform my comprehensive "Have I manifested superpowers this month" self-diagnostic. Because if I have super powers, I damned well better know about it. Incidentally, it's also the reason I check my shoes for spiders before I put them on. Every time.

#12

I wish to suggest an alternate narrative to the simple story we all know. Link is a hero, yes. How many times has he saved the entire world? Many, and those are to be celebrated. But one fact remains fundamentally unchanged across adventures: Link is a not a good hero, and he has absolutely no idea. It's all well and dandy when he fights Gruedo pirates or Moblin raiders that are destroying the livelihoods of nearby communities. Then, on the cusp of their recovery, he'll go in and destroy their property and loot their carefully hidden fortunes. With Gorons, he'll gladly destroy every rock in the city hoping to find the gems trapped within, thus ensuring the eventual starvation of that race of noble giants. And let's face it, there was never any serious attempt to unfreeze Zora's domain.

There is something tragic about Link, above and beyond his eternal struggle, or his accidental unleashing of the very scenario he was trying to prevent. It's that he his without remorse for the things he has done. His constant quests to save the world suggest little more concern for random passerby than his enemies unless substantial reward is offered, and in that light, his quests become a combination of Nietzschian Will-To-Power and simple self preservation. When that Old Man on the beach suggested that it was dangerous to go alone, perhaps he was wiser than we ever realized. He spoke not only of the dangers the monsters prevented, but of deeper psychological dangers. Without legitimate and unconditional concern for the innocents, Link has lost perspective, and, in playing him, we have partaken in that descent into heroism turned amoral opportunism. Maybe we've been monsters all along.

#11

Sorry for the late post. We've both been busy this week with job interviews and the Scott Pilgrim game (Rating: Awesome).

Today's comic comes from a debate that has been raging between Jared and me for six years now, with no end in sight. He simply refuses to acknowledge that, despite the admittedly huge influence Goldeneye had on the FPS genre, Perfect Dark is, mechanically, a better game. Period. Of course, lacking a valid counter argument, Jared felt it necessary to question my sexuality, and produced the above. Well played Jared. Well played.

(This is by Jared): No, no no. You're sexuality is not being questioned. I just thought this was a funny punchline. In fact, I may even say that you are a more dedicated fan than I to dress up in Joanna Dark cosplay, despite the social mores against such actions. For this I must say Bravo. And, on a parting note, will say that Goldeneye broke boundaries and Perfect Dark merely stood on the shoulders of giants to achieve nothing short of utter mediocrity. That is all.

#10

Cory's being detained for some reason, but will be posting something here eventually. IN the meantime you get me, the artist. I-I'm so sorry for you. NEW FORMAT! Yeah, its a new format (artist's note: don't get used to it). There are many situations IRL where a d20 is essential. What should I eat? When did Pearl Harbor happen? Should I punch that baby in the face? The d20 takes away all the responsibility and puts it squarely in the hands of Fate. And Fate's a bitch...isn't that right baby with a black eye? What I thought.

#9

Let's face it, if you had a bottomless sack into which you could cram anything you pleased securely and indefinately, most of us would abuse it. You know, keep a sword in there and sneak it past airport secuirity (just in case of hijackers, of course). Alternately, one could keep every reference manual of all time and win bar trivia contests. Admittedly, that last one went wayside with the smartphone, but I'm an antiquarian. I for one, would stuff all of my favorite eating establishments into such a bag but for the unfotunate fate of the staff. That of course raises the above moral dilema, but, after a hypothetical night of hard drinking and D&D, I'm willing to admit that my morals might be comprimised; it wouldn't be the first time. In that case, why not plan ahead and abscond with a restaurant in advance? And when you are drunk, poor,* and hold an entire franchise hostage in your magic bag, what better choice than Taco Bell?

*Just because I've stuffed an entire building into a sack doesn't make me a thief... right?

#8 SCIENCE!

And we're back! Now that Jared is settled in New York, hopefully we can continue without further interruption, updating on Tuesdays and Thursdays again.

#7

Don't you just love puns? On an entirely unrelated note, it's behooves me to point out that Jared is moving to New York this week. We wish him luck.

On an entirely unrelated note, it's worth mentioning some Comic Con news that may have slipped through the cracks. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World: The Game finally got a release date for the 360. Check out the new trailer too, it's full of awesome. The attention to detail is evident even in this little snippet. My favorites include Kim and Knives during the "KO!"portion and the zombies. Zombies make everything better. I'm not sure what it is about this franchise, but everything that touches it is incredible, and I'm super psyched that we Xbox owners only have to wait a few weeks after the PS3 release, rather than months as was previously speculated.

Frankly the degree of overlap in my favorite media is pretty ridiculous. Bryan Lee O'Malley wrote Scott Pilgrim. Anamanaguchi did the music for the Scott Pilgrim game. They also do much of the music for Penny Arcade's videos. Penny Arcade forms a full half of the legendary Acquisitions Incorporated, with Scott Kurtz and Wil Wheaton rounding out the party. Wil Wheaton, of course, appears in The Guild, starring Felicia Day. It's like a ridiculous Kevin Bacon game with a nerditude twist. Frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

#6

Props to my brother for the *ahem* inspiration for this one. Also, I think we all need to congratulate Jared on his excellent Troll face; he promised to keep badgering me until we do, so for my sake, humor him.

#4

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!
25 points. Wrote a webcomic

Real life needs a gamerscore. I think everyone should have a readily visible, quantifiable number that tells you exactly how much of a dork they are. Maybe that seemingly normal guy you work with is actually an 80th level gnome mage, or maybe he writes erotic Star Trek fan fiction. Really there is no way of knowing. We should get T-shirts with a place where people can write their scores.

Thanks to our friend Logan for the title to today's strip.

#3

Playing girl characters is something I've often--though not exclusively--done. Hell, even at three years old I preferred the obligatory female character in Streets of Rage. There's something of a negative stigma against players that do this, even acknowledged in Felicia Day's excellent web series The Guild. It seems the only ones who don't view this habit negatively are those who actively exhibit it. Common arguments range from "If I'm going to stare at someone's ass for 40 hours, at least it can be a hot one," to either of the above. Despite the stereotype, I'd never really given it any serious consideration until recently. I suppose my line of thinking is essentially, if you are playing a game that lets you be one of several different species, does it really matter if you are playing as a girl troll or a boy troll? At that point the difference is incidental. They are equally fake, regardless of whether they have pixelated curves or not. In modern RPG's especially, it has become much more of an experiment to play as a female, when most of one's friends play as a male; games like Mass Effect and Fable II often feature subtly different scenarios or side missions for characters of either gender.

This strip of course, represents a dramatization of an actual excerpt conversation between Jared and myself on the topic.

~Cory

#2

As it turns out, we are not even making this up. C'mon nerds, get it together. At some point we are becoming our own parody.

On the plus side, do you know what time it is? It's SCOTT PILGRIM'S FINEST HOUR!

#1

The Mind Eraser:

2 oz vodka

2 oz Kahlua

2 oz soda water.

Pour ingredients into glass in that order. Do not stir, and the ingredients should layer nicely. Then down the entire glass through a straw in one breath.